Above the tree line, touching the clouds.
I have always lived at or below sea level on the east coast; everything about this trip was different from what I have always known.
Zero humidity,
70 degrees in July (and even colder once the sun set),
no chance of a beach in sight,
and being 2 hours behind everyone I know- modern day time traveling.
And the daytime activities, like mountain climbing. The fiercest mountain I had conquered up until that point was the hill to get to Williams and Diffenbaugh. It's funny how being at an 11,000 ft elevation can put a Tallahassee hill in perspective.
As the altitude gets higher the air gets thinner. Not a vital is spared- breathing becomes more difficult, the heart races. Not paying attention to the pain that starts to quiver your legs is important, staying hydrated is more important still. Setting goals helped to distract my physical anguish-
singing my favorite song in my head,
counting steps,
finding a point in the distance to make it to,
knowing that the trip back down would be easier,
looking forward to the view from the top,
or imagining you were at the top waiting for me (this option is no longer available).
We made it to the top, eventually, and a more rewarding feeling does not exist after such an ordeal.
I found a sight that a picture does not do justice, and a feeling that there is where I belong.
I am really enjoying the contrast between the grey on the right side of the page and the image on the left. The image from the car says that the blog is taking me somewhere, but the grey says that where I’m going isn’t determined yet and the possibilities are endless. The colors of the sky and landscape from the background image and the post image are so similar that they look like they could be from the same space. That makes the blog seem more cohesive and I thought it worked well. It makes it seem like you are in this car driving, and the post image is your destination, like it could fill in the grey space. Or at least it provides one possible destination.
ReplyDeleteThe image from the post and the caption you have with it, “above the tree line, touching the clouds” work really well together. There is one cloud out front and it seems so close the photographer can almost touch it, but I would never have noticed that without the caption.
The final line, “I found a sight that a picture does not do justice, and a feeling that there is where I belong” captures the idea that we discussed from Nadja, that beauty is convulsive. I would like to see more about why or how it is moving. I think that would add depth to your text and help you connect with the audience.
Last line in the third paragraph, “or imagining you were at the top waiting for me (this option is no longer available)” is hilarious to me for some reason. Maybe I’m reading it wrong, but I see two options here: 1) they can’t wait anymore because you’re already at the top, or 2) it’s a poke at an ex and you would no longer imagine them waiting at the top. It is quick and sassy and I enjoy the change-up in the seriousness of the text.
As for the rest of the text, I liked the line breaks and I liked the fact they added rhythm to the text. It felt like I was climbing the mountain and hearing my own heartbeat as I was reading it. I think that could be further developed as well, though. If I were trying to emphasize that heartbeat effect, I would add a few more line breaks, but we just might have different opinions on that. Try opening yourself up a little more: I would love to hear more about your trip and why it was so memorable for you.